Last week I kept my third grandson. He is almost six months old, and he is the sweetest, happiest baby. He sleeps beautifully for his mama.
He did not sleep for me.
His nap is at 9:00. I knew that. I tried everything, and he had other thoughts. I never did get him down.
I'll be honest, I felt a little like I'd failed a test. And then I laughed, because I raised children. I know babies have their own opinions.
Their schedule, not mine
His mom has him on a schedule. That's her call, and it has worked so well for her. She had him sleeping through the night at about three months old. She is very diligent about it, and he does so well on it.
So when I keep him, I really, really try to stick to that schedule. Even on a day like this one, when it doesn't work.
That's one of the biggest differences between being a mother and being a grandmother. When I was a mom, I got to make all the decisions. That came with a lot of responsibility too, right? You never knew if you were doing it right. As a grandmother, I follow my kids' wishes about how I care for their children, whether I think they're right or wrong.
And truthfully, I think my daughters-in-law are so much smarter than I am. They have so much more information than we ever had.
And it isn't only the babies. I have a 14-month-old grandson and a 7-year-old granddaughter too, and I try to follow all of their parents' wishes. I'm sure in their opinion I haven't always done that. But I do my best, and they do their best to include me in everything.
Grace goes both ways
His mom gave me grace about that nap. I think that's what makes a good relationship between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. We each have to give each other grace.
Being in my grandchildren's lives is the greatest joy I have, by far. I loved being a mother, and being a grandmother is just as wonderful. There are pros and cons to it all. But if I want to be part of their lives, following how their parents want things done is part of it, and I'm happy to do it.
Nobody told me grandparenting was a workout
Here's the part I don't think we talk about enough. Keeping a baby is physical.
A baby that age isn't holding onto you yet. You're carrying all of that weight yourself, picking him up and putting him down over and over. You're getting down on the floor to play and pulling yourself back up. Then doing it again. It takes a lot of energy.
My second grandson is 14 months old now and walking. When he was about nine months old, he was probably 25 pounds. I spent a week with them, and he was a heavy baby. That took real muscle, real upper body strength.
Then there's my granddaughter. She's seven, and she and I love, love, love to dance together. You may have seen us on my Reels. We've been dancing together since she could walk, and we've been doing gymnastics together too, so cartwheels and all the things. That's a perfectly good reason to stay in shape, and it's why I've tried to.
For me, these are the things that matter most:
A strong core, so I can lift and hold a baby who isn't holding on yet
Upper body strength for all that carrying
Balance, because you're moving around with a baby in your arms
Getting down on the floor and back up without thinking twice about it
It's never too late to start
If you've never worked out a day in your life and all of a sudden you're a grandparent, it's not too late. I really believe that.
You can start with small things. Working on your balance. Working with just your own body weight. You will get stronger, just like we did when we were carrying our own children around.
It doesn't have to be complicated. I think so many things in life, we complicate.
If you're looking for a place to start, the app I like to use is Melissa Wood Health. Use code Deanna5 to get your first month for $5.
It's easy to get a few weights at home too. Everything I have in my home gym is on my Amazon page, and you can follow along with workouts on YouTube. Here's a video of me exercising on my channel if you want to work out with me.
What I wear when I'm keeping the grandkids
I think about what I wear around my grandchildren too. First of all, I don't wear super nice clothes. Babies spit up, little ones have messy hands, and I'm going to be down on the floor, up and down, chasing and dancing. I want to be comfy, and I want flat shoes so I can move around well, whether I'm holding a baby or keeping up with a seven-year-old. But I still want to look stylish.
Most of the time I end up in my workout clothes. Here's what I reach for:
My flared leggings (my favorite for this), or shorts or a tennis skirt when it's warm
My favorite denim shirt, a white shirt, or a jacket, whatever the season calls for
Sneakers or my Birkenstocks
Whether I'm with my grandsons or my granddaughter, I just want to be comfortable. I keep it simple and easy. I've put all my favorites in my Grandmother Uniform collection on ShopMy, and if you want to see more of what I wear every day, it's all in my post on workout clothes for women over 50.
However it looks for you
Some of us keep our grandkids every week. Some of us see them a few times a year. Every family does this differently, and there's no one right way to be a grandparent.
I'd love to hear what being a grandparent has looked like for you. What surprised you the most?
And next time, little man, we're getting that nap in. Maybe.
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